A group of gals got together to discuss the highs and lows of the Japanese dating scene. Throw in some culture shock, the language barrier and a completely different set of rules and you have something like dating in Japan. The results were pretty interesting…. I was with a girlfriend in Shibuya and two men approached us on the street and we went out for drinks. I had heard that Japanese guys tend to be intimidated by foreign women.
When I first came, I felt no guys found me attractive since they never looked my way.
I actually approached someone on the train recently and he was totally ok with it but yeah it was kind of up to me to make a move. A similar thing happened with my friend. She even did it again just to double check "Things to know when dating a japanese guy with long hair," nope…still nothing. Like if I initiate wanting to meet that puts some guys off here. I know some married couples and the first meeting is usually through friends or at university. Even my boyfriend who is pretty confident had to wait for a friend of mine to set-up a dinner where we could meet before he could work up the courage to ask me out.
I think quite a common thing among foreign girls who are in relationships with Japanese guys is that generally the guy has lived abroad or has some sort of not-typical Japanese perspective that makes him attracted to foreign girls.
Yeah I went on this one date and the guy spent most of the time on his phone and it was really awkward. I Things to know when dating a japanese guy with long hair because of the language and cultural barrier often conversations can be quite superficial — this or that recommendation of what to do in Japan, or do you like this Japanese food etc. Is there really a casual dating culture here?
Yeah, it seems like back home dating is really much more frequent. I mean I think that people will go on lots and lots of dates, going in and out of relationships over their twenties and kind of assessing what they want before they settle down. My experience dating foreign guys here has been comparable to back home — so pretty awful actually — but the general picture of foreign guys in Japan is that they really want to date Japanese girls.
Actually I think that must be difficult for foreign guys especially. Hmm the dynamic between men and women I think is more traditional then back home. Yeah I wonder about relationship equality.
I have to say compared to back home in Italy, Japanese men help around the house and I was quite surprised by that. Have you dated in Japan? How do you feel about some of the things that were talked about?